"Black Market Moose Cheese"

I joke about it all the time...

But.

A simple Google search reveals there is indeed a certain demand for puppy breath scented soap. Soap making message boards seem to teem with folks who would love puppy breath soap.

A number of hokey looking websites boast "Puppy Breath Essential Oils" only to have their gimmick blown in the first review when the customer describes the smell of fresh cut grass and dirt.
I mean, I guess, if puppies ate grass and dirt that's what their breath would probably smell like...but that's not puppy breath.
Puppies eat dog milk.

That's that smell.

Dog milk.

So logic would follow, unscented bars of dog milk soap would probably smell like puppy breath. Yeah?

Google "dog milk soap" and all you come up with is soap and shampoo for dogs made from goat's milk. Or soap shaped like dogs and paw prints.

Google "chien soap" and you get vegan soap for french dogs. (Google "chiengora" and get yarn made from dog hair.)

If moose cheese runs $450.00 a pound then surely I can sell dog milk soap to rich people for a ridiculously high price? They pay good money to eat fish eggs and snails while injecting bacteria from under cooked poultry into their faces. Obviously they are my target market base.

Dude. That's not a teat.

Fish and Game frowns upon moose farming and the FDA would have a genetically altered cow if I sold black market moose cheese.

I don't have any lactating bitches at the moment.

So...

Can I milk your dog?